Having expectations of others is a dangerous pursuit. One that is almost certainly going to lead to disappointment at best, and resentment at worst.
If you think about it, expectations are so one sided. I expect you to do something or behave in a certain manner but at no stage have you agreed to do that thing. You may even be blissfully unaware that I have such an expectation of you.
When you fail to deliver on MY expectation I am disappointed, hurt and resentful!!! YOU didn’t stand a chance.
Relationships are tricky business at the best of times, but when one party has expectations of another the whole relationship challenge steps up to another level.
Instead of having expectations try making requests. Ask for what you want rather than just expecting it to happen by some miracle of ESP on your partner’s part. Of course, all good requests make a decline possible. If you couch your request in such a way that your partner has no choice but to comply that becomes an order rather than a request and takes us back into the realm of resentment.
Where have you had expectations of another which have not been met? Can you see how you might have contributed to the disappointment you felt?
If you had made a request and that request had been accepted or agreed there would then be an agreement rather than an expectation, which is an entirely different beast.
Learning how to make clear requests, how to negotiate those requests and how to release expectations are probably the easiest things you can do to improve your relationships – in all domains of life.
