By Ron Rink
In my meditation yesterday, I had some — well — I guess I’ll just call it — intuition. It would be wonderful if it was truly my spirit guide giving me info — but — either way — it was good information.
It had to do with the difference between the two “me’s” — the ego me — and the true “Self” me. I came to understand that when I am in full realization of the Self (capital “S”) I will always love whatever “is” at that moment. I will be in the moment — and I will be “tapped in” to my real Self.” If you are in that moment as you should always be – you will always feel this way about the moment you’re in — “I will Love you without any reservations”.
What happens so much of the time, however, is that I identify with my ego self (small “s”) and I end up suffering over whatever my ego is telling me about my relationships — and it is interpreting its desires rather than the true desires of my Self. (To avoid confusion over the word “Self” I’ll start using “essence” for the true Self.)
The idea of an ideal relationship is something the ego suffers over greatly. There is no such thing. The “ideal relationship” is whatever you are experiencing in the “now”. Relationships can’t make you happy any more than anything else can make you happy. Happiness is a state of being, not something you can get from outside yourself.
Sometimes the ego’s desires are at odds with essence’s. Essence often blocks relationships for a time in order to help you develop in other ways, either personally, emotionally, or professionally. Many have a life purpose that requires highly focused energy, and relationships are sometimes denied to them for a while because they would interfere with this focus. Relationships are also often denied for a time because the solitude and suffering caused by this can bring you to the Truth. I feel this is where I have been most of my life. The true essence of me was denying me success in relationships because I had to learn some serious lessons about true Love.
Those who are awakened (wised up) are full within themselves and don’t need a relationship to be happy. And yet, essence may intend for them to have a relationship if it serves them in some way, perhaps through offering love and support or even growth, because growth continues to happen even after they have awakened. The difference is that awakened people don’t enter into relationships because they need someone to make them happy; they enter into them for the joy of sharing with another, and that is truly a divine relationship.
Relationships of this nature aren’t possible from the level of ego, which forms relationships primarily out of need and on the basis of its conditioning. The ego chooses mates that fit its conditioning—its preferences, likes, desires, dreams, and fantasies. Awakened individuals, on the other hand, choose relationships that suit and support their state of consciousness, conscious lifestyle, and life purpose. Or more accurately, essence brings these people together, and the ego doesn’t interfere with this, as it often does when people are identified with the ego.
If you are meant to have a relationship, you will have the kind of relationship you are meant to have. Every relationship serves to develop and prepare you for a divine relationship.
It is only when I allow my ego self to that the insecurities come into play.
I hope this makes some sort of sense.